Afflaghitnib is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, passionate crane.

Afflaghitnib created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Afflaghitnib, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Afflaghitnib, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Afflaghitnib's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Afflaghitnib's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Run away from gray snails, for they are unholy.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Never eat coconuts.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.