Yattfumjigtik is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, merciless goose.

Yattfumjigtik created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattfumjigtik, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yattfumjigtik, she will turn you into a duck.

Yattfumjigtik's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Yattfumjigtik's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt porpoises.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never look in ponds.