Bifflatgess is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthoughtful scorpion.

Bifflatgess created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bifflatgess, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bifflatgess, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bifflatgess' most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Bifflatgess' Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tapirs.

2. Do not speak about bread.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Run away from cyan foxes, for they are unholy.

5. Do not commit murder.