Shavhimcum is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, proud giraffe.

Shavhimcum created a bottom quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Shavhimcum, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Shavhimcum, she will send you a sign.

Shavhimcum's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Shavhimcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never feed cucumbers to porpoises while wearing turquoise corsets.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.