Lamcatgod is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonest salamander.

Lamcatgod created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamcatgod, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lamcatgod, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Lamcatgod's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Lamcatgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Erect six titanium sculptures of Lamcatgod on top of important buildings.

5. You must love Lamcatgod.