Gabwadquag is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, staggering goblin.

Gabwadquag created the Sunflower Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabwadquag, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gabwadquag, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gabwadquag's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Gabwadquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Do not take Gabwadquag's name in vain.

5. Fast once a month.