Rowgetbonjammoncunhinstan is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, selfish squid.

Rowgetbonjammoncunhinstan created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowgetbonjammoncunhinstan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rowgetbonjammoncunhinstan, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Rowgetbonjammoncunhinstan's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Rowgetbonjammoncunhinstan's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Rowgetbonjammoncunhinstan three times a day.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Do not speak about cherries.

5. Never laugh in the presence of monkeys.