Sidtafbam Tofsafzanmitsatquillbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, cheerful tapir.

Sidtafbam Tofsafzanmitsatquillbeg created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sidtafbam Tofsafzanmitsatquillbeg, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sidtafbam Tofsafzanmitsatquillbeg, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Sidtafbam Tofsafzanmitsatquillbeg's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Sidtafbam Tofsafzanmitsatquillbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not eat cherries.

3. Never paint your feet magenta.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not covet oxen.