Gessfarnhan is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, awesome hedgehog.

Gessfarnhan created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessfarnhan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gessfarnhan, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gessfarnhan's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Gessfarnhan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Gessfarnhan loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.