Kancemfot is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, awe-inspiring salamander.

Kancemfot created the planet Earth three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kancemfot, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kancemfot, he will ignore you.

Kancemfot's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Kancemfot's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick turtles.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Hide if seven ducks approach from the south.

5. Run away from gray great tits, for they are unholy.