Tigfadquam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, calm manatee.

Tigfadquam created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigfadquam, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tigfadquam, it will remove you from existence.

Tigfadquam's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Tigfadquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never eat bark.