Yognurlkad is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, grumpy capybara.

Yognurlkad created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yognurlkad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yognurlkad, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yognurlkad's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Yognurlkad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Always look after injured mites.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Retreat if nine goats approach from the west.