Bifponkom is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, proud naga.

Bifponkom created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bifponkom, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bifponkom, she will destroy your favourite star.

Bifponkom's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bifponkom's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bifponkom five times a day.

2. Retreat if four sharks approach from the east.

3. Run away from cyan ducks, for they are unholy.

4. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bifponkom.