Jarnlimdid is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, two-faced lizard.

Jarnlimdid created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnlimdid, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jarnlimdid, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Jarnlimdid's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Jarnlimdid's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

4. Worship no other gods but Jarnlimdid.

5. Feed all hungry squirrels.