Fagrotmiffet is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witless snail.

Fagrotmiffet created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagrotmiffet, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fagrotmiffet, he will come to you in dreams.

Fagrotmiffet's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Fagrotmiffet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Never play with disobedient children.