Honyogtaf is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unselfish crab.

Honyogtaf created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Honyogtaf, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Honyogtaf, she will throw large rocks at you.

Honyogtaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Honyogtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Feed all hungry dogs.

3. Worship no other gods but Honyogtaf.

4. Do not kill goats.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.