Jopdutwat is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, thoughtless cat.

Jopdutwat created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopdutwat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jopdutwat, she will laugh at you.

Jopdutwat's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Jopdutwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not covet oxen.