Zanflanaf is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, confident wasp.

Zanflanaf created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanflanaf, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zanflanaf, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Zanflanaf's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Zanflanaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Zanflanaf on top of all buildings.

3. Always help sick shrews.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zanflanaf.