Gungomfem is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, deceitful bear.

Gungomfem created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gungomfem, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gungomfem, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gungomfem's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gungomfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Hide if seven swans approach from the west.