Homstipnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, humane crab.

Homstipnurt created a bottom quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Homstipnurt, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Homstipnurt, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Homstipnurt's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Homstipnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Homstipnurt must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never look at nebulae.