Titmumlib is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, kind porpoise.

Titmumlib created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titmumlib, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Titmumlib, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Titmumlib's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Titmumlib's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always treat squirrels with great respect.