Dadquattaf is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, omnipotent snail.

Dadquattaf created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadquattaf, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dadquattaf, she will turn you into a puffin.

Dadquattaf's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Dadquattaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dadquattaf.

4. Do not eat rice.

5. Never write about comets.