Fitcenvogcem is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, narcissistic cow.

Fitcenvogcem created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitcenvogcem, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fitcenvogcem, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fitcenvogcem's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Fitcenvogcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

2. Fitcenvogcem must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not kill mice.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Fitcenvogcem on top of all buildings.