Pibmutfem Hotlapyart is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, smart wolf.

Pibmutfem Hotlapyart created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pibmutfem Hotlapyart, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Pibmutfem Hotlapyart, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Pibmutfem Hotlapyart's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Pibmutfem Hotlapyart's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three whales approach from the east.

2. Always look after injured snails.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always pray immersed in water.