Kancubbim is a god.

She takes the form of a large, almighty wolf.

Kancubbim created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kancubbim, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kancubbim, she will not care at all.

Kancubbim's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Kancubbim's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kancubbim.

2. Kancubbim loves turtles, so they must be respected.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.