Nurkarkan is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awesome jaguar.

Nurkarkan created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Nurkarkan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurkarkan, she will curse you with boils.

Nurkarkan's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Nurkarkan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not speak about gooseberries.