Teenbonkmet is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, able crab.

Teenbonkmet created the Cigar Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Teenbonkmet, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Teenbonkmet, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Teenbonkmet's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Teenbonkmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Put Teenbonkmet first in all things.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.