Nanpin is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, generous centipede.

Nanpin created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nanpin, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nanpin, he will be very unhappy.

Nanpin's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Nanpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always treat badgers with great respect.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not stand on grass.