Koplimaf Tomrakdav is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, self-assured aardvark.

Koplimaf Tomrakdav created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Koplimaf Tomrakdav, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Koplimaf Tomrakdav, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Koplimaf Tomrakdav's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Koplimaf Tomrakdav's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always look after injured badgers.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never wear boots.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.