Lipdisshin is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, effective tortoise.

Lipdisshin created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Lipdisshin, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lipdisshin, she will boil you in a big pot.

Lipdisshin's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Lipdisshin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers in need.

2. Erect six carbon sculptures of Lipdisshin on top of important buildings.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Hide from mauve geese for they are unholy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.