Vagnigfutquim is a god.

It takes the form of a small, two-faced guinea pig.

Vagnigfutquim created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagnigfutquim, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vagnigfutquim, it will ignore you.

Vagnigfutquim's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Vagnigfutquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not take Vagnigfutquim's name in vain.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Vagnigfutquim on top of all buildings.

5. Put Vagnigfutquim first in all things.