Flapbabbid is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, confident hyena.

Flapbabbid created a quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapbabbid, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flapbabbid, he will turn you into a rock.

Flapbabbid's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Flapbabbid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

2. Never look at stars.

3. You must love Flapbabbid.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never look in ponds.