Wotkarfut is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, competent newt.

Wotkarfut created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotkarfut, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wotkarfut, he will think nothing of it.

Wotkarfut's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Wotkarfut's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not speak about cherries.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.