Zakmoblop is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-assured horse.

Zakmoblop created Asia nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakmoblop, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zakmoblop, she will ignore you.

Zakmoblop's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Zakmoblop's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise shirts.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zakmoblop.

5. Never write about stars.