Quamgompibkap Narlbonsom is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, contented horse.

Quamgompibkap Narlbonsom created oxygen three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamgompibkap Narlbonsom, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quamgompibkap Narlbonsom, she will be mildly annoyed.

Quamgompibkap Narlbonsom's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Quamgompibkap Narlbonsom's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink goats, for they are unholy.

2. Do not eat apples.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.