Lipyim is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, slow snake.

Lipyim created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Lipyim, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lipyim, she will cry a lot.

Lipyim's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Lipyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always obey Lipyim's priests.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Lipyim.

5. Never eat bananas.