Gongetsag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-confident finch.

Gongetsag created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gongetsag, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gongetsag, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gongetsag's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Gongetsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat grapes.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

3. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Never talk about porpoises.