Dintipbep is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, merciful grasshopper.

Dintipbep created viruses six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dintipbep, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dintipbep, she will turn you into a rat.

Dintipbep's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Dintipbep's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Retreat if five rats approach from the east.

5. You must never eat garlic.