Bidteenstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, caring lobster.

Bidteenstrag created the Milkyway four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidteenstrag, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bidteenstrag, he will send minions to preach to you.

Bidteenstrag's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bidteenstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink alcohol.