Ortjigbag is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, selfish fox.

Ortjigbag created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortjigbag, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ortjigbag, it will be very unhappy.

Ortjigbag's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Ortjigbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Ortjigbag's name in vain.

2. Never run in the presence of sharks.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Hide if nine frogs approach from the west.

5. Never write about stars.