Wippomwon is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unthinking raccoon.

Wippomwon created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wippomwon, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Wippomwon, it will turn you into a snail.

Wippomwon's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Wippomwon's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Run away if three gulls approach from the south.

5. Never look at galaxies.