Paskembess is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unthoughtful raccoon.

Paskembess created vertebrates four years ago.

If you believe in Paskembess, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Paskembess, it will send you a sign.

Paskembess' most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Paskembess' Holy Commandments

1. Paskembess loves whales, so they must be respected.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never hurt dogs.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.