Parktipken is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unselfish sheep.

Parktipken created parasitic wasps six million years ago.

If you believe in Parktipken, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Parktipken, he will torture you forever.

Parktipken's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Parktipken's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt bats.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Run away if seven tapirs approach from the west.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.