Bitquafbepart is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, moody fish.

Bitquafbepart created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bitquafbepart, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bitquafbepart, it will turn you into a sheep.

Bitquafbepart's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Bitquafbepart's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to aardvarks while wearing green skirts.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Worship no other gods but Bitquafbepart.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bitquafbepart.