Bogpadcen is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, slow lizard.

Bogpadcen created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogpadcen, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bogpadcen, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bogpadcen's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Bogpadcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always help geese in need.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.