Garcitbopmottitrotpigvol Vindusshog is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unfair narwhal.

Garcitbopmottitrotpigvol Vindusshog created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Garcitbopmottitrotpigvol Vindusshog, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Garcitbopmottitrotpigvol Vindusshog, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Garcitbopmottitrotpigvol Vindusshog's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Garcitbopmottitrotpigvol Vindusshog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.