Lipyimlid is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fussy giraffe.

Lipyimlid created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipyimlid, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lipyimlid, she will remove you from existence.

Lipyimlid's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Lipyimlid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

5. Never talk about goats.