Tabfodkik is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unfair fairy.

Tabfodkik created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabfodkik, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tabfodkik, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Tabfodkik's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tabfodkik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help cats in need.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Never paint your legs turquoise.

5. Never bounce in holy places.