Haszenveencib is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous donkey.

Haszenveencib created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haszenveencib, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Haszenveencib, it will turn you into a tree.

Haszenveencib's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Haszenveencib's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck cyan.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Always look after injured foxes.

5. Snakes are not to be trusted.