Lopstigtam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, self-assured chicken.

Lopstigtam created a quark two years ago.

If you believe in Lopstigtam, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lopstigtam, he will destroy your home solar system.

Lopstigtam's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Lopstigtam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick sharks.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.